Nearly everyone reading this doesn't know how it feels to have a super power. I'd like to pose a question to my readers. How do you switch off a super power? I would love to trust a woman with my secrets so I can just be myself around her. What would happen when we broke up? Your deepest darkest secrets are public knowledge after a bad breakup. I would have had a dozen girls go to the papers talking about their ex-boyfriend's super powers. In the meantime I have to pretend that I am running out of air when I snorkel with my girlfriend, making it seem like I can't breathe underwater. I amuse her when I pretend to struggle with a ketchup bottle that she could not open right away. When we jog in the park I have to make it seem as if I can't circle this park three times in about five seconds. If only she knew who her boyfriend was and what I am capable of. My services have made it impossible for me to have a successful relationship without living a constant lie.
My conscience is what drives me to be the savior everyone says that I am. All of the lies eventually eat me up until the point where I am sabotaging my relationship to stop the deceit. Even if I got to the point in a relationship where I felt comfortable enough to tell her that she is dating the one they call "The Masked Jesus"-which is extremely unlikely-she would then know how much I have lied. I don't know about you, but I would have a hard time trusting someone who could keep me fooled for years without showing me who they really are.
To really someday be happy I would have to date the director of the CIA or one of the the other four women who know my alias. That is a rather small dating pool if you asked me. I can only hope one of them is reading this. If you are one of those women and you are interested, you should be extra friendly the next time I get into the office. Better yet let's develop a code phrase, "I'll be your Mary Magdalene." Readers, I'll keep you updated.
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